Archives For chap clark

teenagers2[averageym Note: Andy Blanks is becoming a good friend, and in fact a good enough friend that we found ourselves disagreeing on some ministry philosophy.  I love when we be come good enough friends and that there is already a foundation of humility and grace that we can actually wrestle through issues, sharpen each other, and learn from one another.  Thanks for inviting further conversation.  The post below was featured yesterday on the youthministry360.com blog.]

[ym360 Note: This thoughtful and thought provoking post is born out of a discussion Ben and I had based on a post I wrote entitled, "Stop Telling Students To Invite Their Friends To Church." (You can see Ben's comment at the bottom of the page.) I was reminded once again of the great truth that there's room for different opinions and approaches as we all seek to lead students closer to Christ. I'm deeply thankful for Ben and his devotion to Christ, his family, and his ministry. Even if I don't always agree with him. :) --Andy]

This last spring we signed up my 5-year-old for his first season of T-ball. It’s quite entertaining to watch 5-year-olds learning the game of baseball. By the end of the season, the goal is that these kids will (almost) know their positions, the direction to run around the bases, how to hit a ball off a T, and, well, that’s about it. But the foundation has been laid.

While I’d love for my son to live out my his dream of playing in the big leagues one day, my ultimate dream is for him to be a godly man who loves Jesus, and who lives a life that reflects that love. My dream is that he would live “within the culture as a missionary who is as faithful to the Father and his gospel as Jesus was in his own time and place.” In essence, my dream is that my son would live a life that is missional.

I’ll come back to this baseball analogy. But first, I want to talk about this concept of missional living as it relates to the students in our ministries.

Continue Reading…

Don’t forget to read part 1: the past or part 2: the present

Our students are not broken, or rebellious, they are Unique!
As I wrote about in Part 1 and in Part 2, our culture continues to change, and as it does we must be proactive in finding the thin places where the gospel and culture connect.

For our parents and grandparents, the crisis used to be rebellion, the good news was justification. For us, the crisis is brokenness and the good news is healing and redemption. But for our students, what is their crisis? Especially since they don’t see themselves as being rebellious or broken.

Since there is no common morality, there can’t really be rebellion. And since there is not a very good picture of how the world should be, they have no sense they are broken. And you can see this worked out when you actually talk with them and hear their stories.

The things we would classify as sin, rebellion, or brokenness are not things they are ashamed of. In fact they are badges of honor that give them street cred among their peers and make them feel more unique, more beautiful. They have no regrets! Everything they have done and experienced have made them the unique and beautiful person they are today.

Part 2) The Future
Continue Reading…

breakfast_club

It is not 1985 anymore:

Back in the 80′s Young Life was the premiere organization reaching students for Christ.  They were a corrective force for the church and were the key organization to completely transition how churches do student ministry. Because of the influence of Young Life, the church has been able to expand their demographic from a closed group of church kids, into youth groups that are just as missional and inviting as many Young Life Clubs.It seems that the institutional church is always slow to change and slow to change their methodologies.  Since this is true, I am wondering if we are still holding on to a key ministry philosophy of Young Life had back in the 80′s.

This philosophy was simple, if you win the popular kids, the leader kids, you will win the campus.  (I have no idea if this is still Young Life’s main strategy, but it used to be and was incredibly effective)

Continue Reading…

There are two competing truths that are attempting to live together in the youth ministry world.

Truth 1) The process of adolescence is lengthening. In the 1950’s, most sociologists agreed that by the time someone was 16 they had completed the process of individuation. And in the 70’s it was around 18, then in the 90’s it was the early 20’s,and now its believed to be the late 20’s. Chap Clark has done a ton of work in helping youth workers and parents understand this process. Even TIME magazine is on board with this truth.

Truth 2) Students today are so over having youth ministry be fun and light. They are ready for deep theologyemerging worship practicesjustice ministry, and being missional.

As I have been trying to bridge the gap of these two truths, I have been coming up short. Over the past year or so I have been intentionally wrestling with these competing truths, and I keep coming to an un-politically correct conclusion: I firmly agree that while adolescence is lengthening, students are not developmentally prepared or ready for some of the deeper things of christianity.

(If your interested in how I came to this conclusion, I wrote about it here)

Because youth workers are doing youth ministry longer, it makes sense that we have our spiritual growth overflow into the heart of our ministry. But as the developmental gap widens, we have to be so much more thoughtful and aware of differentiating our issues and growing edge with those of our students.

Which leaves me wondering: Where are the books that actually equip those of us in the field who work with middle school and high school students that address this phenomena on the front end?

Because, if this lengthening is real, then the implication is not just that students are behaving like adolescents well into their 20’s. It also means that current high school students are behaving and processing the world the same way middle schoolers were just 10 years earlier. This truth leaves me with some unresolved questions:

If that is true, then shouldn’t high school ministry today look more similar to jr high ministry of 10 years ago, opposed to looking more like college ministry?

If this is where our high schoolers are at, what in the world are we supposed to do with our middle schoolers?

How do we walk with students who are engaged in and exposed to very adult material and are even less able to process these experiences because they are even more developmentally delayed then we are aware of?

Are you noticing this in your ministries?

Student ministry is changing at break-neck speeds because students are becoming more and more complex. They are exposed to more complex and adult issues at a time in their lives when they are becoming less developmentally prepared to deal with them. While this is very overwhelming, I am committed to figuring it out. I want to walk well with students through this crazy season of their lives. I so want God to use my feeble efforts to be part of the redeeming process, and not be the part that needs to be redeemed. Thankfully, no matter what, God uses all of it (the good, the bad, and the ugly), as part of his authoring and perfecting of their faith. Thanks be to God!

I have recently been invited to be a regular contributor at youthmin.org.  It is a great group of people who are trying to mix up the conversation regarding student ministry.  If you don’t already read them, I highly recommend it.  Have a great day!

This upcoming week is Orange week for me and for some of my fellow bloggers.  To kick it off, we will be giving away Chap Clark’s new DVD; “Parenting A New Generation by Chap Clark: A Tool for Parents and Student Pastors to Understand and Lead Today’s Students”  A few months ago I reviewed this series and gave it 5 out of 5 stars. (actually I didn’t give it any stars, but I highly recommend it.)  If you would like to read the review, you can check it out here.

If you want to participate in this drawing, simply connect through facebook, and away we go.  We’ll announce the winner friday night.

Good Luck!

I do.   In fact, it would be pretty cool to call up Chap, grab a coffee and talk about life and ministry.  I would love to pick his brain about all things related to student ministry.  Since this is not my world, I have at least found the next best thing.

Orange has put out a new DVD curriculum for youth workers and parents called, Parenting a New Generation: A Tool for Parents and Student Pastors to Understand and Lead Today’s Students.  This 3 DVD set is worth its weight in gold.  (And Gold is doing really well right now)

Chap Clark spends 13 sessions unpacking the best of all his research, teaching, books, and trainings and presents it all High Definition.  The teaching is very natural and engaging, and for the most part, the viewer feels like a participant in the cohort style of lecture.  Throughout the 13, half hour sessions, Chap condenses his best teaching on adolescent development, parental responsibility, changing culture, and the role of the community in the faith development of teenagers into a format that is very accessible.

This DVD set is really the highlight reel of all that Chap and his colleagues has worked on during his time at Fuller and the Fuller Youth Institute.   There are 5 main sections that are explored in this curriculum.

Section 1: Widen the Circle

“Chap talks about the importance of inviting other adults into the life of your family – adults committed to your child for no other reason than because they care.

Section 2: Imagine the End

“Chap challenge us to rethink what the goal for our children is as parents and how we can encourage them as they discover their place in God’s kingdom.”

Section 3: Fight for the Heart

“Chap gives us insight into the developmental changes an adolescent goes through and urges us to parter with our kid as they spend these formative years figuring out their core identity.”

Section 4: Create a Rhythm

“Chap gets really practical, unpacking, the importance of natural, organic practices we can engage in with our children that help them relate to God of the universe.”

Section 5: Make it Personal

“Chap begins to draw some conclusions from earlier material and prompt us to ask the tough questions for what this new way of parenting will mean for our own families.”

Why You Should Drop $129 For This Curriculum:

Over the years, I have taken a seminary class from Chap, heard him speak a dozen times, and read most of his books.  I figure I have spent in the thousands of dollars for the opportunity to have learned what I have learned from Chap.  So for 5-10% of that cost, there is a tool for youth workers and parents to have access to the very best of this information in a format that is really easy to consume.

For youth workers and parents, this information is amazing.  Chap’s knowledge and passion are evident and keep the viewer engaged.  The discussion questions make this a tool that can and should be shared with the parents of students in your youth ministry.  And the practical suggestions offer a real way forward to carry out the ideas presented in these DVD’s.

One of the reasons I am such a believer in the Orange strategy and curriculum is that everything is designed to be done in partnership between the church and the family.  If we really want our students to have a shot at developing a healthy faith and connection to the church, they must also have a healthy and strong relationship with their parents as they work this all out.

There is plenty of information presented in each session.  Chap reviews the topic and take aways from the session previously, before jumping into the next topic.  While Chap is teaching, there is a power point presentation that highlights the important points and significant quotes.  For being a highly produced curriculum, the total lack of graphics or attempt at making the power point presentation engaging was a little sad.  For the most part, it doesn’t matter and the simplicity is actually kind of nice.  But when Chap explains how the task of adolescence and the illustration of a tightrope, the simplicity becomes a liability.

One of the new pieces of information that stood out to me as a parent is about the true desire adolescents have for relationship with their parents.  Chap, rightly, points out, that it is a myth that teenagers want less involvement in their life from their parents.  The truth is they want more interaction, more conversation, more empathy and compassion.  What they want less of is to be treated like babies and given edicts from on high.

As you consider this curriculum, check out some of the preview videos that are available here.

This curriculum gives any adult who loves students a broader understanding of the sociological, theological, and developmental issues that are surrounding adolescents and a map to help us, parents, and specifically students navigate through it.  I highly recommend it and have already passed on my copy to the parents group at our church.

Some day Chap might be my friend.  But until that day, I will take his HD face on my television and soak up all that one of the best practical theologians out there has to say.

our own rumspringa

February 4, 2011 — 14 Comments

Rumspringa (derived form the German term “Rond Springen” or “running around”) generally refers to a period of adolescence for some members of the Amish, that begins around the age of sixteen and ends when a youth chooses baptism within the Amish church or instead leaves the community.  (wikipedia)

In one of our upperclassman small groups a student made a passing comment that I have been wrestling with for the past couple of days.  She simply observed that their once full table of students during small group time has withered over the the last couple of years.  Where a once a robust small group of 15 was, now a consistent remnant of 6 remain.

As my wife and I talked, we could account for almost every student that has faded away from our student ministry.  And for almost every student there was an explanation.  Most of them were a small changes in priorities that resulted with them being less connected and ended up with them being M.I.A.

For the last 15 years I have wrestled with the continual transition of our student ministry population.   Our ministry is made up of a relatively small core of students with a bunch of students filtering in and out based on friendship connections, sports and play responsibilities, etc.  But I wonder if there is something else that might be happening in the hearts of our students.  What if our students genuinely need their own Rumspringa?

In my context it is taboo to even consider an intentional separation from the church community while they figure out if they are really in or not.  But this is basically what is happening both experientially and confirmed with some of the writing out there on student ministry.

  1. Students need to develop a faith separate from their families: There has been so much writing about the process of individuation.  Chap Clark has done some of the best research and clear writing on this in his book Hurt and Starting Right.  Basically, students must figure out who they are and what they believe.  And if their families are super connected to your church, there will naturally be a season where students will have to wrestle with their place in your community.  Sometimes this results in them having to leave and be a part of another ministry or church, or wandering away all together.
  2. Students need space to identify what they actually believe: Most student ministries do a great job at painting a compelling picture of a life connected to Jesus.  As this happens we (or maybe just me) make assumptions that everyone is on board.  And when we don’t give any space for disagreement then we are asking students to assent to things they don’t yet own.  If there is not space to disagree, then their only option is to flee.  I would rather have a student who is not on board and wrestling through issues, then bail completely and have to opportunity for relationship.
  3. Students may not want to be followers of Christ: This is the most brutal option.  It is in our blood as youth to win students and collect a wide variety of them from every walk of life.  We take pride in the diversity of our ministry.  But as students get older and start to really understand what we are talking about, they may actually not want this life of faith that we talk about every week.  This reality shouldn’t shock us.  It is reality.  A friendship with a youth leader is not going to be enough to keep them connected if their is no concern for the faith we talk about.
  4. Students need to be released with a clear and open path to return: It is normal and natural for students to walk away from their faith, or to never develop a personal faith at all.  And when students figure this out and walk away from our student ministries (and the church) we must create an ethos of love and grace. If we hold on too tight, give ultimatums, and use scare tactics, we only further alienate them from the family of God.  Our job is to graciously allow them to Rumspringa or run around, and communicate with them that, if they want, they will always be welcome home.

This is exactly the heart of the prodigal’s father.  The son had all the freedom in the world to run around.  And we get to be the brokenhearted father on the edge of our property longing for, and praying for our kids’ safe and quick return.  And whether or not we get to experience that joy, we will continue to gather students, share the love and grace of Jesus Christ, and help them make their faith their own.  And for the students who need to explore other options, we send them off with just as much love and grace.

Lord, please continue to woo the hearts of our many prodigal kids out there!

what if chap is right?

December 3, 2010 — Leave a comment

There are two compeating truths that are attempting to live together in the youth ministry world.

Truth 1) The process of adolescence is lengthening.  Tn the 1950’s most sociologists agreed that by the time someone was 16  they had completed the process of individuation.    And in the 70’s it was around 18, in the 90’s early 20’s and now late 20’s. Chap clark has done a ton of work in helping youth workers and parents understand this process.  Even time magazine is on board with this truth.

Truth 2) That students today are so over having youth ministry be fun and light.  They are ready for deep theology, emerging worship practices, justice ministry, and being missional.

As I have been trying to bridge the gap of these two truths, I have been coming up short.  and over the past year or so I have been intentionally wrestling with these competing truths, and am coming to an un pc conclusion:   I firmly agree that while adolescence is lengthening, students are not developmentally prepared or ready for some of the deeper things of christianity.

I have written an article developing this view here:

Because youth workers are doing youth ministry longer, it makes sense that we have our spiritual growth overflow into the heart of our ministry.  But as the developmental gap widens, we have to be so much more thoughtful and aware of differentiating our issues and growing edge with those of our students.

Which leaves me wondering: Where are the books that actually equip those of us in the field who work with middle school and high school students that address this phenomena on the front end?

Because, if this lengthening is real, then the implication is not just that students are behaving like adolescents well into their 20’s.  It also means that current high school students are behaving and processing the world the same way middle schoolers were just 10 years earlier.  This truth leaves me with some unresolved questions:

If that is true, then shouldn’t high school ministry today look more similar to jr high ministry of 10 years ago, then like college ministry?

If this is where our high schoolers are at, what in the world are we supposed to do with our middle schoolers?

How do we walk with students who are engaged in and exposed to very adult material and are even less able to process these experiences because they are even more developmentally delayed then we are aware of?

 

are you noticing this in your ministries?

student ministry is changing at break-neck speed because students are becoming more and more complex.  they are exposed to more complex and adult issues at a time in their lives when they are becoming less developmentally prepared to deal with them.  while this is very overwhelming, i am committed to figuring it out.  i want to walk well with students through this crazy season of their lives.  i so want god to use my feeble efforts to be part of the redeeming process, not the part that needs to be redeemed.  thankfully, no matter what, god uses all of it; the good, the bad, and the ugly, as part of his authoring and perfecting of their faith.  thanks be to god!