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The myth of life long student ministry

March 8, 2013 — 17 Comments

It seems like just yesterday that I was sitting in a hotel room at a Youth Specialties conference with my colleagues in ministry. There were at least four of us staying in the Motel 6 down the road just to save money. We didn’t mind sharing the room because we could not believe that we had gotten jobs as youth workers. We were being paid to love on students and help them love Jesus. All four of us had recently graduated from college, were friends from camp, and relishing the opportunity to take our place as the next generation of youth workers.

The urban legend that shaped our views of success was the one about longevity.

We had all heard the statistic about the average tenure of a youth worker was 18 months, and most of had experienced that number to be a reality in our lives. But this statistic would not define us. We were in youth ministry for the long haul, not just 18 months, not even 3-5 years, were were going to be youth workers FOR LIFE!!

15 years later, I am the last of my four friends who is still is doing vocational youth ministry. And of the dozens of peers who are of similar age that I have had the pleasure of calling colleagues in youth ministry, I alone remain.

It seems like every young youth worker I talk with has a similar perspective to the one I had years ago. And the truth is, that like my circle of friends, only a small percentage of them will continue on in student ministry into their 30’s, less into their 40’s, and none into their 50’s.

While this is the truth, this is not a sad truth. I have no special honor for being the last of my friends who is still in youth ministry. It is simply the way it is. While it is ok for young men and women to speak boldly about things they do not quite understand, it is the implications of this false view that ends up limiting them in the long run.

Speaking boldly is part of the fun of ministry. We love pontificating with our peeps, and really, anyone who will listen, about whatever the subject is. We speak with great passion and conviction. This should not be squashed, for passion and conviction are some of the important stones in a ministry foundation. But sometimes this passion and conviction replaces wisdom and discernment and often proves to be a liability in the long run.

If youth ministry for life is your mantra, then my fear is that being open to all that God might have for your future gets put in jeopardy. Calling is always seasonal. Our lives unfold before us like a well written Choose Your Own Adventure book. And because of this, the specifics of what sort of ministry we are called to do will always be in flux.

In Discerning your call calling, youth ministry, youth specialties

Another Top 10 List of Books Every Youth Worker Should Read!

January 28, 2013 — 12 Comments

Last week Josh Evans listed out the 10 must have books for student ministry. They are great books and sparked some great discussion. As youth workers we should be learners and a consumer of many books. The books that Josh recommends should be consumed, reflected on, and implemented.

I am blessed to be in a context with youth workers who are some really great thinkers and avid readers. We used Josh Evans’ blog as a jumping off point and came up with round two of books that we think should be read by every youth worker!

As we considered our context, which is about as post-Christian as it gets, we chose books that sharpened us, inspired us, equipped us, challenged us, and helped us understand the world in which we are doing ministry better. These are not in any particular order and we hope you buy them all today!

Not Much, Just Chillin: The Hidden Lives of Middle Schoolers

Hurt 2.0: Inside The World of Today’s Teenagers

Evangelical Theology: An Introduction by Karl Barth

Understanding Your Young Teenager

Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids

Almost Christian: What the Faith of our Teenagers is Telling the American Church

Sticky Faith: Everyday Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Your Kids

Revisiting Relational Youth Ministry: From a Strategy of Influence to a Theology of Incarnation

Torn: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gay vs. Straight Debate

The Selfless Way of Christ

As youth workers we are not simply programers, or Bible study leaders. We are cross cultural missionaries. We must become experts in adolescent development, psychology, anthropology, sociology, theology, and spiritual development. May we not settle in our stereo typical role of pizza slinging party boys, but rather as women and men who respect the craft and calling of student ministry and continually strive to deepen our understanding of Scripture, our context, and the movement of the Holy Spirit!

Happy Reading!

PS: I am blessed to be in an incredible local network with some deep thinkers and gifted youth workers. If you want to have some great reading from youth workers who are doing solid ministry in a post-Christian context sent directly to your RSS reader, check out Phil Steiner’s Blog and Ryan Reed’s Blog. (And don’t forget to subscribe to my RSS feed as well. If I get 4,897 more subscribers I can have my book published. Hahahaha)

PPS: What books would you add to the list?

In Discerning your call hurt, reading list, sticky faith, torn

Is there a corporate ladder in student ministry?

October 29, 2012 — 11 Comments

What is the top of the youth ministry world? When will you have arrived? Is it about the number of students in your ministry? Is it about working at a particular church? Is it when you get to travel and speak? Is it when you get to speak at main stage for Youth Specialties?

Every career has a ladder, and student ministry is no different.

Let’s just take high school education as example. The basic corporate ladder goes something like this; substitute teacher, teacher’s aid, class room teacher, head of department, assistant principle, principle. Then if you have sights higher than that particular high school, assistant superintendent, and finally super indent.

But this isn’t the top of the ladder. From superintendent, there is an entirely different ladder to climb ending with, who knows, the governorship or even the president of the united states.

In Discerning your call calling, time to move, youth ministry

2 ways for the church to care for and correct their pastor.

October 19, 2012 — 1 Comment

Normally I wouldn’t post a sermon I have preached on my blog. In fact there are a ton of reasons not to. I get that I a not the most compelling speaker, I am slightly below average in looks, and in this case I was a bit nervous because of the topic so I spoke a little bit too fast. I also get that you are a fabulous preacher and I am opening up myself to be seen as less than in your eyes.

But these are silly and vain reasons and I am all about the spiritual growth to combat these childish tendencies. Plus, the more I have been reflecting on this passage of in 1 Timothy, my church context, and my friends in ministry whom I would love to speak up for, I thought I would give it a whirl.

The relationship between the church and the pastor is a mysterious one at best. It always starts with such high hopes and expectations, and often devolves into disenchantment, bitterness, and pain. But if the church does these 2 things well, I think we as pastors will thrive a bit more.

Spoiler alert: one of those points is paying us well. I mean really well

In Discerning your call Church finances, discipline, getting paid better

Don’t church plant.

October 8, 2012 — 9 Comments

I know you are awesome. In fact everyone at church confirms this to be true. At this point is becoming a conviction that by limiting your gifts to the realms of student ministry would be a crime. Numbers don’t lie and your ministry has exploded under your leadership and you are ready to proclaim the word to the masses! But before you jump ship in order to follow “God’s Call” to become the next church planter mega success, let me share a few words of caution . . .

Your amazing ministry was actually built by somebody else.

In Discerning your call church planting, discerning your call, don't do it

Who knew a video would highlight some of my most biggest passions and values :)

September 7, 2012 — 2 Comments

A couple of weeks ago we had our monthly Manly Mecca meeting. This is a new approach to our guys’ ministry that was inspired by a show on MTV actually. After we sat around and did our monthly check in, share our deepest darkest and be honest about every guys’ struggle, and try not to pay the jar, we headed out for a little project.

We take our fall kick off very seriously. I think a solid youth ministry has purposeful events, and the kick off sets the tone for the year and direction for our entire ministry. To make our first youth group special, I thought it would be fun to highlight the guys in our ministry and make a Carly Rae video. I know they have been around all summer and are old news, but that is how I roll, about 6 months behind the curve.

I think it is important to embrace the music that is the sound track of our students lives and use them to have a Dance Party, or simply to use it to solidify great youth ministry memories. And that is what we did. This video is the result of some really hard work by one of my students, and in a way totally highlights some of my biggest passions and values.

With all the chaos and work that goes into getting the school year up and going and pulling off our fall kick off, I am tired. So I apologize for the shoddy post. But it is Friday, and it is time for some rest. I hope and pray that you have a great weekend and get some good old fashioned rest this weekend as well. In fact not resting is breaking one of the 10 commandments. How cool is that, taking a nap is what you are called to do this weekend.

We’ll all get back after it on Monday. So until then . . .

Blessings!

In Discerning your call, Discerning your context, Discerning your issues, Discerning your students

A mission statement that may not inspire, but will point us toward the job we are called to do.

September 3, 2012 — 6 Comments

Remember life before Mission Statements?

I remember back to the good ‘ol days, before mission statements, vision statements, measurable goals, strategic plans, and purpose driven everything. In those days life was simple, Chubby Bunny, DC Talk, the 4 Laws, and Pizza ruled the day. And somehow by God’s grace, churches grew, people came to know and love Jesus, and some of those people even felt called by God to go into ministry.

As corporate language has invaded the church there has been a sharpening of focus for churches and for ministry. This corporate language is not the point of this blog, and I apologize if you went into anaphylactic shock because of it. Yes, I agree the church isn’t corporate and we hate all things corporate (except Apple). But every church I have been to and every youth worker I talk to says that they want their church and their ministry to grow. And while they assure me that growth means spiritual growth, we all know what we mean, numerical growth. And the people who have been leading the charge are those who have taken the best of the corporate world and used them in the church.

A list of mission statements:

In Discerning your call dc talk, mission statement, youth ministry

The secret ingredient for keeping students connected to Christ:

July 17, 2012 — 7 Comments

Over the past few weeks and into months there is quite a large group of youth workers, children’s workers, and pastors who are contributing their thoughts and ideas about family ministry. Matt Norman has put together a blog tour to work through these ideas and issues. Because there are so many authors there will be quite a wide verity of options. If you have spent time on my blog, you know that I am passionate about students having separate space to work out their faith as they individuate from their parents. But this space can not be isolated space. If our kids are going to love Jesus for the long haul, they must be connected to the church. As you wrestle with family ministry, check out these posts and get in on the discussion. Blessing!

The million dollar question seems to be something like, “How do we keep students committed to Jesus into adulthood?” This is one of the main questions I have been wrestling with during my tenure as a youth pastor. And depending on the season, I end up somewhere swinging between it all being on Jesus or all being on me. It is true that Jesus is the author and perfector of our faith and as shepherds we are called by god to build up or students in their faith. At the end of the day, it is both. I plant, you water, I plant, you water, and God causes there to be growth and life. This is a mysterious partnership.

In Discerning your call big church, church, students, youth ministry

A new rhythm for summer

June 12, 2012 — 4 Comments

This week marks the end of our formal student ministry calendar. From here on out we switch gears to our summer rhythm, full of pool parties, bbqs, and exciting trips. For me, a change in season marks an opportunity for reflection, evaluation, and course correction.

I have spent the last few weeks wrestling with what God has for me personally. This is a fun and needed change from being single-minded in my pursuite of student ministry. While I do think I have a good plan for those guys for the summer and upcoming year, I do need to make some important course corrections for near, and possibly the not so near future, in my personal life.

Maybe we should follow our dreams:

The story of Joseph in scripture is a powerful story for me. I believe that God has put a unique dream in each of our hearts, and as we grow and mature in the Lord, God clarifies that dream. Not all of us have dreams of our family bowing down to us, but we do all have glimpses of the full and whole person that we were created to be.

In Discerning your call call, development, dreams, writing, youth ministry

Do you pour into the “Leaders” or the “Least of These?”

June 6, 2012 — 7 Comments

As my ministry grows and shrinks and and I grow and shrink, I have found myself wrestling with this challenging question. ”Do I pour my life into leaders, or into the least of these?”

I totally get the strategy and potential multiplication that happens when you take the cream of the crop and invest into them. The potential pay off is huge. They become spiritual leaders among their friends, at their schools, in their companies, and even follow a call into ministry. Many of us youth pastors were “leader” kids that were given some extra love and attention by our youth pastor and helped shape a larger view of ourselves and ministry and that is why we are doing what we are doing.

Leader kids are the best.

They are all in. They are normal. They have social kids and it feels good when they like us. And while I am a product of some extra love and have seen the fruit of that in some of my leader kids, I wonder if the strategy of ministry to leaders trains our hearts, our leaders, and our ministries to miss the very heart of the ministry of Jesus Christ.

In Discerning your call leadership, least of these

the-orange-conference-iphone-app-180x1801

I am heading off to the Orange Conference

April 20, 2012 — 5 Comments

In less then a week, I am heading to the A.T.L. to spend time at one of the greatest ministry conferences out there. I am going to the annual Orange Conference. In case you have never heard of it, you should spend some time on their webiste.

Our church has gone Orange a little over a year ago and we are already seeing some amazing fruit. First and foremost from the philosophy, and then through their engaging, relevant, biblical, and fun curriculum. I am excited to take my children’s ministry team with me and be encouraged, inspired, and equipped for another year of ministry!

There is great line up of speakers and seminars. And like everything done with Orange it will be an excellent conference. But what I am looking forward to the most is spending time with my team dreaming about ministry, connecting with my colleagues in ministry, and staying out late dominating the youth ministry dodgeball tournament.

I have the honor and privilege of not just attending, but of being on the blogging / social media team for the conference. Thankfully I have learned a little bit about both so I can actually contribute this year What that means is that myself and a handful of other great bloggers will be sharing their experiences, their notes, their impressions, and whatever else comes to mind with their friends who may not have the opportunity to attend this year.

Here is the list of my fellow orange bloggers. Reading their posts will help you feel like you are actually there in the arena with 5000 of your closest friends, in the dirty south, eating Chick Filet, hanging out with Andy Standly and Kara Powel. Ok, it probably won’t do any of those things. But you will be encouraged and get the most important nuggets handed to you on a silver platter with all the fixin’s. (That is like 3 southern references in one paragraph, not bad!)

Time to get my Crunk on! (in a hip/hop sort of way)

In Discerning your call andy stanley, dirty south, orange

Blogging Tips: a series at youthmin.org

April 18, 2012 — 2 Comments

Over at youthmin.org there is a really interesting series of posts all about blogging. The contributor team have all written a post sharing the blogs that inspire and sharpen them. Just like the team, there is a wide variety of opinions and influences. I would encourage you to check them out and expand your reading diet. As far as my contribution, here is who made my list. Who is on yours?

There is so much I don’t know!

It is so easy to think that you are the master of the universe. But what I have found is that whenever I get to this point, I realize that I am simply the master of my own universe. This is the reason I love to read.

Blogs are the great equalizer. They are posts by people just like you and me, people who love Jesus and love kids. They approach the gospel and ministry from so many different perspectives that I am always challenged to reexamine my own ministry and strive to continually improve it. If you are new to reading blogs, there are a ton of great ones on this site, get to reading. But even more, if you are aren’t writing on one of your own, go to wordpress.com and get going!

Here are my top 5 favorite blogs:

These are not all specifically youth ministry blogs, but ones that challenge me to be a better pastor, parent, and person.

1) http://fulleryouthinstitute.org/blog/ This is Fuller Youth Institute blog and is jam packed with thoughtful posts backed up with legit research.

2) http://sethgodin.com/sg/ Seth Godin is a brilliant writer and blogger. Everyone says that if you want to know what a great blog is like, look at Seth’s. Unfortunately, mine is nothing like his, but oh how he challenges me to get off my butt!

3) http://youthleaderstash.com/ is a helpful and practical resource. Not only will you find clever games and images, but great curriculum, funny videos, and an encouragement to do youth ministry well.

4) http://restlessfaith.blogspot.com/ is a blog written by a friend of mine, Chad McDaniel. He is one of the most thoughtful and godly youth pastors I know. I am always spurred on to know Jesus and love him more because of his blog.

5) http://www.youthministrymedia.ca/ As an old guy who is increasingly out of step with all this technology, Kolby Milton is my guide through these complicated waters. His blog is captivating, interesting, and incredibly helpful.

What I look for in a blog

Everyone seems to have some rule about what works and what doesn’t on blogs. Keep your posts under 500 words, write to a specific audience, use a theme that is original and clean. Unfortunately I break all these rules and so should you.

ARE YOU REMARKABLE? Is what you are writing worthy of remark? The blogs that I like are ones that stir me to consider things differently, push me to something new, and even change my current position. If you make your audience think and compel them to remark, then you are hitting a home run!

ARE YOU A POSER? It seems that online you can say whatever you want, be as controversial as you want, and blow up people and the church with little repercussion. I work with students and doing things that are shocking is every day in this job. Blogs that go for shock and awe flame out and lose my interest very quickly.

WILL YOUR POST SHARPEN ME? I am desperate need of refinement. I am a total wretch who has been saved by grace and am still confused why God would use me in pastoral ministry. Because of my state, I need to be spurred on to know Christ more deeply, love students unconditionally, and do ministry that is worthy of the calling that God has put on my life. If I find a blog that does that, then I am all in!

Don’t just be a consumer of information, be a contributor. The body of Christ needs your unique perspective, so get after it!

In Discerning your call blog, smurfs, youthmin.org

The 7 Best Practices for Teaching Teenagers the Bible

April 17, 2012 — 2 Comments

I just finished reading a really great book by my friend, Andy Blanks. Andy is the co-founder of a the website youthministry360 which is chalked full of great resources for anyone connected to student ministry. I found his book, The 7 Practices for Teaching Teenagers the Bible, to be one of the most helpful tools I have come across that equips, inspires, and challenges youth workers and volunteers to teach scripture in a way that is impactful and transformative.

As someone who has developed my own curriculum as well as used just about every curriculum under the sun, I found this book to be the right tool that walks through the difficult process of having curriculum in your hand to actually presenting it.

Keep the main thing, the main thing!

One of the best parts of this book his Andy’s first chapter on engaging with God. He immediately dispels many of our reasons we think we want to teach scripture, like information transfer or behavior modification. ”You teach the Bible so students will know God and grow in their imitation of Him.” And then he hits you between the eyes with a true gut check. ”You can’t lead students to desire that which you don’t desire.” Our walk with Jesus is foundational to our teaching students to know and love Jesus.

In a very pastoral way, Andy shepherds the reader through a little bit of self-evaluation. And I have to admit, this was pretty convicting as a youth worker who is struggling with senioritis! Because these were words that were difficult to hear, I found Andy’s tone and heart warm and inviting. There is no shame, just grace and a kick in the pants.

Every chapter is full of practical nuggets you can implement NOW.

Andy could have milked this book and made it a couple hundred pages, but instead he made it totally accessible and easy to read. Each chapter is formatted in a way that you can skim to what you need, but written in a way you won’t want to. What I appreciated most is that in every single chapter there were things I could use this week in youth group to do a better job in my teaching. Here were some of the highlights for me:

Practical step by step plan to take curriculum and translate it into an actual lesson
A renewed call for biblical context to make sure students know how particular stories, themes, people, and points fit into the larger biblical narrative.
People have different learning styles. No kidding, but I don’t teach that way. Andy gives a huge list for ways to connect with different learners.
A tutorial on how to ask good questions.
A list of different types of application questions and activities you can use so that students can lean into life change.

Two thumbs up!

I have to admit I was feeling a little patronizing about reading this book. I have been teaching teenagers the Bible forever. What could this small book have to teach someone as wise and good looking as me? It turns out quite a bit. This book only took me an evening to read. And every other page is marked up and underlined with things I want to remember and implement in my ministry. In fact how I am doing my talk this week is completely changed, and changed for the better simply by using a different application tool outlined in this book.

I highly recommend this book. Anyone, including you who is responsible for the teaching in any form within the context of student ministry, this book will be a blessing and dramatically improve your ability and effectiveness. Good curriculum is great. But someone who is working out their own thriving walk with Jesus equipped with the right tools to take that curriculum and make it personal for their context is golden!

I hope you find this book as encouraging and equipping as I have. And if you are struggling with a little senioritis, this book is a good kick in the pants from a true pastor and shepherd of students and youth workers. Thanks Andy for your heart and for this great tool!

In Discerning your call andy blanks, bible study, curriculum

5 reasons there will always be paid youth ministry professionals

April 2, 2012 — 11 Comments

There has been some discussion lately among some of my youth ministry friends about the future of our profession. There seems to be another round of shots fired across the bow at youth ministry and the professionals that lead these ministries. Sticky Faith, Family Based Ministries, and people with axes to grind continue to lay the decaying faith of adolescents and young adults squarely at the feet of us professionals and the failed models we are propping up.

Fellow professional youth workers have no fear, our jobs are here to stay!! We have an amazing calling and part of an amazing legacy, and I am convinced that for the foreseeable future, churches will continue to do everything in their power to make sure their staffs include a paid youth worker. Here’s why:

1) If a church is going to attract young families, they need to prove that they will care for the entire spiritual development of their kids.

For better or worse, a church that has a paid youth worker, signifies to the entire church family that they care about families. While children’s ministry is incredibly important, many parents will tolerate poor children’s ministry if they know that as their children grow into teens, there will be a place for them to continue to work it out at the church. Think of all the families that restart the church hopping process when their kids reach 4th and 5th grade. All of the sudden, that great church plant, or dynamic young preacher doesn’t seem to cut it when their own kids’ faith is on the line. A paid youth worker communicates care for this significant felt need.

2) It is a model that has positively impacted those who are now at the age to make decisions regarding staffing and budgets in churches.

It is an unavoidable truth that people invest and do the things that are meaningful to them. Think of how you choose what to do for your youth ministry program. Chances are most of what you do is based on the things that God used in significant ways in your own life when you were in student ministry. Youth ministry has now been around long enough that the power players at most churches remember the Hay Day of youth ministry and the significant role that ministry played in their faith development. They want their church to provide solid ministry for their own kids and their view of a thriving church includes a thriving student ministry. Most thriving student ministries are headed up by a paid point person.

3) Students continue to need a place for fellowship and learning that is separate from their parents and makes space for their unique developmental needs.

For all the talk about family ministry and integration, the fundamental task of adolescence is still individuation and separation from their family’s faith. Students need a place separate from their parents where they can ask the hard questions, push back, run away, and still be seen and loved by the church at large. Student ministry provides a unique haven in this adolescent development where students can work out their faith separate from their mom while still being connected to the church. It is really brilliant if you think about it.

4) The traditional model of youth ministr, run by a professional, continues to be the most effective model at helping students develop personal faith and providing significant water marks in their lives.

I know it is so cool to be pissed at the church and youth ministry for all the kids who walk away from faith. But stop and think about all the kids who have ever come through your ministry and reflect on the ways that God has grabbed ahold of. We need to actually stop and celebrate the great things that God is doing in them and through them now. This isn’t something to gloss over. A vast majority of those in leadership now in the Church with a capital C are people who were leaders in their student ministries. Praise God for the gutter to glory stories of those people who find Jesus all by themselves later in life. But when you start to ask around, those people are the exception. Youth ministry is the tool that God has and is continuing to use to clarify people’s call into His family, and into ministry.

5) Name one church who has all the resources they need who would intentionally staff their church without a professional to run the student ministry.

For reals, name one. I know finances are hectic and churches have to be creative. But not hiring because of financial hard times is not the same as not doing youth ministry because of conviction. And the churches who are relying on faithful volunteers, whom I am honored to count as my colleagues, would pay those volunteers or someone else if they happened to win the Mega Millions Jackpot this last week.

A caveat:

While I do firmly believe that churches will continue to pay for people to work with students, they will no longer pay people who do shoddy work. Financial hardship is a reality in many of our contexts and every dollar matters. If our church leaders are going to be good stewards of their resources then they will only be paying people who will work hard and do a good job.

Gone are the days where youth workers are simply paid to goof off with students, play video games, eat pizza, and have a few informal bible studies at their house. If someone is being paid to run a youth ministry, then they will be expected to run a youth ministry. This includes program, administration, duties assigned by pastor, and then video game extravaganzas, all within a tight budget.

The good news is that our profession is here to stay! The bad news is that we will continue to be expected to work harder and be more effective than our predecessors. Friends, it is gut check time!

Are you still called to do ministry in this environment and with these expectations? Do you still love students, but may be losing steam on the professional aspect of it? Is it time to maybe need to call it quits? Or do you simply think I am full of crap and protecting my own paycheck?

In Discerning your call paid, sticky faith, youth ministry

The most important thing to do when raising a teenager:

February 6, 2012 — 2 Comments

I have just finished teaching one of the most challenging classes ever. For the last three weeks I presented a class called “Preparing to Parent your Adolescent.”

For this class I used every tool at my disposal; my 15 + years of ministry experience, access to the personal libraries of all our pastors on staff, and input from my colleagues. As I looked through over 40 years’ worth of books and resources, I landed on three that have shaped me the most and became the core of this class:

Understanding Your Young Teen, by Mark Oestreicher, Hurt, by Chap Clark and Parenting Beyond Your Capacity, by Reggie Joiner.

All three of these are must-reads for parents, youth workers, and those who interact with and love students. If you haven’t realized it yet, adolescence is a complicated and challenging process with a seemingly-unnatural amount of variables that play into the change from child to adult.

The Problem:
Adolescents are in the process of becoming their own people and making their own choices, which means that many of those choices will be different than yours.

You can go crazy trying to find some book, some remedy, some nugget that will give you the right tools to ensure the teen in your life grows up to love Jesus. For the better part of my career, this is what I have been trying to do. With every book, every seminar, every conversation with a parent or a student, I add to my list of to do’s that will help me and my parents pull this off.

The Solution:

As I have recently reflected again on how to consolidate all the information out there into something easy to pass on, I have come to the conclusion that there is really only one thing that is irreplaceable in the emotional and spiritual development of a teenager.
The answer was in a simple list in the beginning of Reggie Joiner’s book about some of the truths he wants to stay focused on. This is what he says:

“My children need to know I will never stop fighting for a right relationship with them.”

That is it. Of all the steps, of all the values, of all the to do’s, at the end of the day, I think that fighting for a right relationship with your kids is the most important. Everything else will kind of work itself out. There will be great years and there will be awful years. But parents who fight for a right relationship will be ones who will have a lifetime of relationship and influence in their kids’ lives.

It is so simple, so easy to understand, and yet it seems to be pretty challenging. I think this is how most spiritual truths are. We want complexity so we can justify our failed attempts. But something simple like fighting for right relationship puts the burden on us and not the “system” or “steps.”

In a few months I have the opportunity to head down to Reggie’s home state of Georgia and spend time with him and 3000 of his best friends as we wrestle with how to do a better job connecting students to Christ. Reggie Joiner has come up with an amazing strategy and curriculum to resource churches and families to accomplish this called Orange. Orange’s entire philosophy is about combining the light of the church with the love of the family to maximize this effort.

If you don’t know anything about the Orange strategy or about their slick curriculum, I highly encourage you to check it out. The actual conference happens April 25-27. And if you register before the 16th of February you will save $50. I hope you make it and would look forward to hanging out.

As youth workers, we have an incredible opportunity to share the love of Jesus with our students. When we partner with parents to encourage them and equip them to do the same, we maximize the chances of these students actually getting it. I am thankful for Reggie and his peeps. And I too will never stop fighting for a right relationship with my kids.

As part of Orange week, we will be giving away Chap Clark’s Parenting a New Generation DVD. You can enter to win my simply entering here.

See you in Atlanta!

In Discerning your call orange week, reggie joiner, youth ministry

10 easy steps to make your pastor love student ministry!

January 13, 2012 — 4 Comments

Top 10 Ways to Turn Your Pastor into the Biggest Advocate of Student Ministry:

The truth is that very few senior pastors are passionate about student ministry. If they were, they would be student ministry pastors. God has given them a heart and calling to shepherd the entire church, in which student ministry is only a part. If you want them to become a big fan and advocate for student ministry, then it begins with having them become big fan of you. Here are 10 practical ways to build heart strands with your pastor and helps them become a fan of you and student ministry.

10: Remember, They are the boss!

9: Don’t be a liability.

8: Professionalism is key.

7: Clean your office.

6: Love their kids.

5: Don’t forget to love them too.

4: Be teachable.

3: Document everything!

2: Keep your ego in check.

1: DO A GOOD JOB!

Ok, there is the complete list. Like all things, it is much easier to understand then to do, but when our actions match these values we will be the smell of perfume to our pastor, a blessing to our church, and you will be surprised by the amount of support your area of ministry will get. Get after it!

In Discerning your call, Discerning your issues keeping your job, top 10, youth ministry

called as a woman in ministry: guest post by lisa holmlund

December 14, 2011 — 6 Comments

When I was a freshman in high school, I knew I wanted to be a youth pastor. I was on my 3^rd youth pastor in 3 years, and I wanted to be the one that would stick around for the long haul. At this time, my dad was a pastor and he had, for the first time, an associate pastor… who was a woman. I’ll be honest. I wasn’t sure what I thought about a woman being a pastor at MY church. It could be fine at other churches, but I wasn’t sure that I really gave her the credit more than being the one to send out the birthday cards, do hospital visits, and help with communion here and there. SUPER ironic since I was the one who was feeling called to ministry right around that same time… and I was starting to embrace my own woman-hood.

I went on to a great Christian college in the late 1990’s where women in ministry was accepted, but not necessarily “championed”. Again, this fit me perfectly as I kept walking through my own call to ministry, and felt confident in being a youth pastor, but heck-to-the-no on ever being a lead pastor, let alone go to seminary. My dad, uncle, brother and his new fiancé were all seminary graduates, and there was no need for a youth pastor to go to seminary. My excuse was that I was not an “academic” person. I also had no desire to learn Greek. Inside, I think that a big part of my heart also felt that I was afraid of being a young, single, female in a seminary world. I had not known of any other women my age who had gone to seminary. I think the older woman that was my dad’s associate had gone to a seminary back in the day, but that was strange to me. The Christian community around me did not have very many strong models of women in ministry for me to step into the shoes of. It was easy to use the excuse of, “Oh, I’m just going to be a youth pastor, and you don’t need to go to seminary for that.”

I am sad to now step back, more than ten years later, and realize that I dumbed down not only my call to ministry and my profession… “just being a youth pastor”, but I also didn’t have the courage to be secure in recognizing that God calls both women and men, single and married, young and old to ministry… and to seminary.

Seminary was a time for me to be in a place where women in ministry was championed and supported. It was ironic that my male peers were the ones in classes who would be the vocal leads for supporting women called by God to serve in all aspects of ministry. During my three years in Seminary, I lived in the city where my dad’s associate from 15 years prior was now a lead pastor in the neighborhood of my school. I felt proud that she was the Senior Pastor, and I started to feel proud to be called into full time ministry, myself.

Women in Ministry is a topic that seems taboo for many to speak about. Opinions are strong, emotions are felt, and theology needs to be strong and supported. I am so thankful for the Evangelical Covenant Denomination for championing and being a secure voice for women in ministry. I am also thankful that the seminary was a place where I was challenged to wrestle with what I believe about women in ministry… as I KNEW I WAS called to be a woman in ministry.

There are some great resources that not only our denomination has written on women in ministry, but also women I now admire as women on ministry have written that I would encourage you to check out.

1. Called and Gifted – published by Covenant Publications in Chicago, IL. This is a reaffirmation of the biblical basis for the full participation of women in the ministries of the church that the Evangelical Covenant Church stands by. www.covchurch.org

2. How I changed my mind about Women in Leadership – Compelling Stories from Prominent Evangelicals. Alan F Johnson is the author. Contributors include Tony Compolo, Bill and Lynne Hybels, and John and Nancy Ortberg. Published by Zondervan.

3. Gifted to Lead: The art of leading as a woman in the Church – by Nancy Beach. She shares her story of being a woman in ministry of a large and growing church with an all male staff. Published by Zondervan.

Lisa Holmlund has served in Student Ministries for more than a decade in Colorado, Washington, and California. She is a graduate of North Park Theological Seminary in Chicago, IL and currently serves as Pastor of Student Ministries at Montecito Covenant Church in Santa Barbara, California.

In Discerning your call calling, women in ministry, youth ministry

what i have learned from my first year as a blogger

November 28, 2011 — 14 Comments

It is hard to believe that I have been running this blog for a year! As I have reflected back on this last year, I have seen how God has used this little site as a tool to continue to transform and refine me. It has just been a hare over 365 days ago that I decided to take a stab at this blogging thing and from that day forward I have found the learning curve of my life steepen at an exponential rate.

It is so nice to be reminded that I do not have everything all figured out. It is not quite so nice to realize I have almost nothing figured out. But I have thoroughly enjoyed this new hobby of mine and am thankful for the ways God has used it. With a year under my belt, I wanted to share with you some of the things I have learned by cranking out 3 little posts a week for 52 weeks.

I am still in the market for new friends: I know that blogging is a new media, and friendships may be defined rather loosely in this world, but I have found that they are friendships all the same. I have had the pleasure to interact with so many people this last year and from such a wide verity of locations and backgrounds. Some of these people have actually become friends. I have had the pleasure of meeting several of them in person, and others I am anxiously waiting for the time God allows us to meet face to face. In person or virtually, I have had the pleasure to be sharpened and stretched in my faith, in my profession, and in my person and for that I am grateful. If you are looking for some good reading I highly recommend some of my new peeps.

Jeremy Zach at reyouthpastor.com
Benjamin Read at intentionalstudentministry.com
Chad Swanzy at youthleaderstash.com
Kolby Milton at youthministrymedia.ca
Andy Blanks at youthministry360.com
Robbie McKenzie at robbiemackenzie.com
Rusty Pettus at pettus.wordpress.com

I am a small fish in a big ocean: Have you ever been to a large youth ministry conference and been blown away by the 3000 other youth workers wondering around the convention center? As great as you are in your context and how ever much your students and parents are impressed with you, you are still only one of many youth workers out there loving a group of students into the kingdom of God. I have been honored to have had a couple of opportunities to serve outside my local context, and when I am not careful, I can begin to be pretty impressed with myself. But even my local network, my denominational connections, or training at a certain event are still pretty shallow ponds compared to the entire world wide web. Blogging has been a truly humbling experience, to be one tiny little site among billions in general, millions of blogs, and thousands of youth ministry blogs is pretty overwhelming. It is nice to be reminded of my true place and to do the thing that God has called me to because he has called me to it.

I have become far less critical: I have not given up thinking critically, but I have died to my critical spirit. It has been a favorite pastime to rip apart people who are out there writing and speaking. Don’t they know that I should be the one out there impressing people with my mad skills. Ha! Consuming information and judging others may be easy and build some street cred with your small circle of friends. But to move into creating content and contributing to the conversation turns out to be much more difficult. To write something and have it out there for the world to see, criticize, push back on, is much more challenging then I thought. And after a year of this, I have realized that I have far more respect for anyone who is out there taking the risk, trying it out, contributing in any fashion then a clever tear down after a seminar.

Everyone has a voice; finding it is harder than it seams: You would think that spending my entire career in student ministry I would have a clear understanding of my voice. But the truth is when our only feedback loops are the closed system of our local church we slow down in our development. It gets incredibly old to simply say things and have the listeners and readers choke down the words because I am a pastor. When we expand our circles and deepen our ponds, we allow others to push back on us, to not let us get away with shoddy thinking or theology. And in this process we come out refined. We have a voice that is valuable to the conversation, that encourages and equips others for ministry. There isn’t one master voice that accomplishes this, it is a community of voices that contribute to this process. While I am still enjoying my baby talk season, I have appreciated those who have encouraged me where I am and have pushed me to go farther.

The post that started it all: Looking back, there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about my original post, or about any post since. But I still stand behind my original sentiment. I my post, Is it even ok to be average, I said, “Most likely you are an average, common, and typical youth worker. But because we are connected to Christ and he loves to use our common and often feeble efforts, let us relax. Today we can enjoy the God who loves us and who calls us and uses us, warts and all. We can strive to be excellent tomorrow.”

This has been a great year. Thank you for the part you have played in molding me and shaping me. I do not long to be Doug Fields or Andy Root. (ok, a little bit I do,) In my heart of hearts I long to be the fullest version of me that God has dreamt up before the dawn of time. And God is using this little blog, and your input and friendship to accomplish that goal. For that I am truly thankful and blessed!

Happy Anniversary!

In Discerning your call anniversary, average, blog, youth ministry

Advent: what are we waiting for?

November 25, 2011 — 1 Comment

This post was originally featured at youthworker.com

There is something magical about the Christmas season. From Thanksgiving on, people spend a significant amount of their free time and extra money preparing for one day. There are cookies to bake, cards to send, music to listen to, houses to decorate, and gifts to buy. After a month of build up, Christmas finally comes. After a month of building expectations, it is next to impossible to have them met. If you are like me, I have grown tired of not having them met, so I have mastered the art of managing expectations. Don’t get wrong, I love Christmas and I love the cookies, but I am very careful to let my heart get all in, because having your expectations crushed can be one of the most painful things in the world.

How Jaded are you?

It is so easy to be jaded when our expectations are dashed, that most of us don’t even realize that it has happened. Every year that goes buy you find your self saying more and more often that it just doesn’t seem to feel like the holidays. However, ever now and then you bump into someone, usually a kid, who could not be more excited for Christmas, or their birthday, or Disneyland, or summer, or whatever. It is usually through the eyes of kids that we get a picture of a life that is really great and worth living.

What has happened over the course of the years to make our heats numb? I think the answer has something to do with self preservation, with protecting our hearts at all cost, and in the process our hearts get even more damaged. I know I am not alone in experiences pain and heartbreak. I am not the first person to have their hopes built up high only to have them crushed. Because it is so painful to have our expectations not met, we gradually lower them until we expect very little if anything from anyone anymore, including God.

Can Chevy Chase be our example?

But this is not the way we were designed to live. It is our expectations that allow us to live life to the fullest. This Christmas season I highly recommend that you watch Christmas vacation starring Chevy Chase. The entire movie is a about a man who never lets go of his expectations. Every event, every moment is a high light and needs to be shared. Even the arrival of his brother in law adds to the narrative of hosting the best family Christmas ever. There is something naive about his character and it is easy to mock him for these expectations, but at the same time we are drawn to him as a person and impressed with his love towards his family. Even his apathetic teenaged kids know their dad loves them.

When we have expectations our hearts are quickened and we are on alert for things to happen, for things to be special. And the same is true in our walk with Jesus. Isn’t it amazing that kids always come back from camps and mission trips profoundly impacted by the Holy Spirit. Part of it is the trip, but the truth is our camps and trips are pretty average. But what isn’t average is that for the month or two leading up to these trips, we have special meetings, special fund raising, and special lessons all preparing for an amazing trip. And after several months of preparing for an amazing trip what happens, we have an amazing trip. Even the kids who threw up the entire week all talk about what an amazing trip it was.

It is one thing to be jaded by the Christmas season. But it is devastating when we become jaded in our faith. This last month I had the pleasure of being in a meeting with several youth pastors to plan our winter camp. For me, this is old hat. I was mostly enjoying an excuse to have coffee with friends. But a brand new youth worker at the table could not contain her excitement about winter camp. She shared stories from last year where kids gave their hearts to Jesus and how excited she was to be on the planning team for such an important event. On my drive home I came to a scary reality, I had become jaded. But thankfully, God used our time together to refresh my soul, and to build a new sense of expectation.

Let us raise our expectations this Advent season:

Expectations are not an accidental thing. God as an integral part of our faith development gives them to us. Expectations are what open our eyes and ears to the movement of God. The entire redemptive history found in scripture is filled with people expectant for God to provide children, free them, save them, bless them. And the culmination is the expectant coming of the messiah, and his return.

Advent is not really about preparing our houses for the Christmas season. Advent is about raising our expectations for the messiah to come. I think it is true that Jesus not only loves the world, but also loves you and me on an intimate level and desires to impact our lives. (At least this is what I teach our students) a jaded heart can never hear the still and small voice of God or see the subtle ways in which he seems to often move. An expectant heart is continually straining its eyes and ears for the movement of God, and even the slightest movement increases our faith and causes us to strain even more.

I am pretty tired of having such low expectations of Jesus. So, this advent I am going to add a rule of life to this season. It is pretty simple, but I am expectant for it to rock my world.

1) In the morning ask God to show up, and expect that he will.
2) And in the evening, reflect on the day and the places he did.

A poet in the 1850’s named Alfred Lord Tennyson penned the famous line, “it is better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all.” Tennyson got that life happens in the living of it, and this advent I want this to be true for me also. I so want God to show up and have at it with me, and I am going to expect that he will. For, I would rather expect that he would show up and wrestle with the awkwardness and disappointment of when it looks differently, then to be numb and jaded to working of the Holy Spirit and miss out on the coming of Jesus!

Advent: be expectant, because Jesus is coming!

In Discerning your call advent, christmas, devotional, youth ministry

ministry for the long haul

October 19, 2011 — 8 Comments

Student ministry is a demanding job, and it seems the longer I do it, the bigger the demands become. Starting out, I couldn’t believe I could actually get paid to spend time with students, take them out to lunch, play video games and help them experience the love and grace of God. As I settled into the job of being a youth worker this simple beginning expanded exponentially.

When you take the simple task of loving students and helping them explore their faith, and combine it with the all the extra expectations, emotional mood swings, scared or ticked-off parents, crises, graduation, incoming 6th graders, managing your supervisor, changing programs, and personal growth and transition, it’s a miracle that youth workers stick around for even 15 months.

As I reflect on my 15 years of vocational student ministry, I have come to realize that in all I do and have done, two very basic rhythms have allowed me to continue for the long haul.

1) Continue to work out my own faith with fear and trembling. It is easy to slip into a maintenance mode in our faith. Because we spend most of our time with students who are significantly younger than us, it can take a while before we realize that we too have the faith of a sophomore in high school. The truth is, our faith must be our own faith, and the ministry we do must be an overflowing of the work Jesus is doing in our own hearts. (I know this is a no-brainer, but this head knowledge must become heart knowledge if we are going to be all that God longs for us to be.)

We must not settle in our understanding of scripture or in our personal process of sanctification. We are unfinished masterpieces, and to accomplish the good work Jesus has for us to do, we must consistently submit to the hammer and chisel of the Father. What better gift can we give our students than an example of adult faith that is just as much in refinement as their is?

2) Get connected with other youth workers. For me, I have found that youth ministry is the most emotionally and spiritually taxing endeavor I could experience. We give our entire lives, sacrifice a ton of who we are, to walk alongside fickle students who seem to not even care. We have a ministry of preparation and often never get to experience fruit of our labor. As we are required to spin more and more plates and expected not to drop any of them, where can we go to get encouraged, rebuked, set straight?

We often can’t go to our pastor, it often isn’t right to go to people in the church, and sometimes we can’t even go to our spouse. I have found that fellow youth workers are people who “get it.” They are people who will allow me to share my struggles and my joys. Once you get past the lame dance where you jockey for position, you can actually enjoy some great friendships with people who understand this crazy and amazing job.

Longevity in ministry is a total gift. Sure, it’s a gift to parents and students to have a youth worker who has been around the block a few times. But I have found the gift to be all mine as I stick around long enough to see little kids grow into young adults, former students get married, have kids of their own and do great things for the kingdom of God. I would have missed out on this gift several times over if I had not been continually working out my faith in the community of fellow youth workers.

May you too enjoy ministry for the long haul.

This post was featured on the xp3 students blog and is a blog that has some great resources and encouragement!

If you are a part of the Evangelical Covenant Church and are looking to be connected, contact a Youth Ministry Facilitator in your conference and get some love and encouragement so you, too can do ministry for the long haul!

In Discerning your call encouragement, longevity, support, xp3, youth ministry

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3) Students continue to need a place for fellowship and learning that is separate from their parents and makes space for their unique developmental needs.

4) The traditional model of youth ministr, run by a professional, continues to be the most effective model at helping students develop personal faith and providing significant water marks in their lives.

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Mi Familia

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What people are saying:

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Archives For Discerning your call

Keep the main thing, the main thing!

Every chapter is full of practical nuggets you can implement NOW.

Two thumbs up!

1) If a church is going to attract young families, they need to prove that they will care for the entire spiritual development of their kids.

2) It is a model that has positively impacted those who are now at the age to make decisions regarding staffing and budgets in churches.

3) Students continue to need a place for fellowship and learning that is separate from their parents and makes space for their unique developmental needs.

4) The traditional model of youth ministr, run by a professional, continues to be the most effective model at helping students develop personal faith and providing significant water marks in their lives.

5) Name one church who has all the resources they need who would intentionally staff their church without a professional to run the student ministry.

A caveat:

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Mi Familia

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