i am a screw up!

falling down

It is true, I am a screw up! I have found that the more I grow, the more I realize how much further I have to grow. It seems like just yesterday I was pretty amazing. It is true, there was a good portion of my young adult life where I was pretty impressed with myself, and thought you should be pretty impressed with me as well.

During this short and embarrassing stint, I was a great youth pastor, husband, guitar player, and student. I was also had a pretty impressive grasp of theology and the faith to back it up. But this was a short period of time. What is embarrassing is the fact that I had no idea what a true screw up I was and how much I was in need of Jesus and his grace. And thankfully, Jesus has found it right to make up for lost time.

2011 has been an incredible year on so many levels and there are so many things I am thankful for, so many experiences and privileges I have had that have blown my mind. As I reflect on the year behind me, the thing I am most thankful for is the reminder that I do not have as much together as I previously thought.

Bring on the Learning Curve! For whatever reason, 2011 was a year where God chose to place me on some steep learning curves. I am always up for learning some new things and for finding an area of growth in my life. But, this last year God opened up the floodgates and has given me a fresh view of who I am called to be and who I really am right now. And who I am right now is in some serious need of growth.

As this year comes to a close, I get to celebrate one of my favorite holidays; New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. These are the most amazing days for someone who is in need of closing the door on the past and walking through the door of a brand new day, month, or year. This week I get to do just that. I get to acknowledge all the great things God has done and is doing in my life, in my family, in my church, and in my community. I also get the privilege and discipline of acknowledging the areas and places where I missed it.

But instead of dreading all the hard work to catch up when one has fallen behind. I get to be reminded once again of the power of grace. Once again I get to experience this crazy spiritual reality of forgiveness and get sent back to the front of the race, cheered on to continue on. An opportunity to start fresh with mistakes redeemed, character deepened, and faith increased.

It is true that God offers these fresh starts every moment of every day. But for me, there is something significant and sacred about the end of one year and the beginning of another. And I plan to take full advantage of this fresh start. Once again I will throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and run with perseverance the race marked out for me!

"Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23

Happy New Year!